Online pornography, healthy relationships and body image are topics that many young people encounter and struggle with in their daily lives. They may have questions, doubts, fears or misconceptions about these issues, and they may not know how to find reliable and accurate information. That’s why it’s important to talk to pre-teens and teens about these topics in a safe and supportive way.
In this guide, I will share some tips and resources that can help you have meaningful and respectful conversations with your students, children or mentees. These tips and resources are designed to be age-appropriate, engaging and educational.
They cover various aspects of online pornography, such as its impact on mental health, sexual expectations, consent and respect. They also address the topics of healthy relationships and body image, such as how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, deal with peer pressure and develop positive self-esteem.
Tips for Educators and Parents
Start the conversation early and often
Don’t wait until you think your students or children are exposed to online pornography or have problems with their relationships or body image. Be proactive and initiate the conversation yourself before they hear inaccurate or harmful information from other sources.
Be open and honest
Don’t shy away from the topics or use euphemisms or vague terms. Use clear and factual language that is appropriate for their age and level of understanding. Explain what online pornography is, how it differs from real-life sex, and why it can be harmful to their well-being and relationships.
Listen and empathize
Don’t judge, lecture or shame your students or children for their curiosity or experiences. Show them that you care about their feelings and opinions and that you are there to support them. Ask them open-ended questions that encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings, such as “How do you feel about online pornography?” or “What do you think makes a healthy relationship?”.
Provide accurate and positive information
Don’t rely on myths, stereotypes or assumptions about online pornography, relationships or body image. Provide them with factual and evidence-based information that helps them understand the risks and consequences of online pornography, the characteristics and benefits of healthy relationships, and the diversity and beauty of human bodies.
Resources for Educators and Parents
Planned Parenthood has a comprehensive guide for parents on how to talk to their middle-schoolers about sex and sexuality, including healthy relationships, body image, and personal safety. They also suggest using everyday life as an opportunity to talk about sexuality and provide tips on how to have these conversations with your kids.
NSPCC provides training, lesson plans, and a dedicated helpline to support secondary school teachers in delivering inclusive sex and relationships education. They also have a page dedicated to online pornography that explains its effects on children and young people and provides tips on how to protect your child from it.
Dove Self-Esteem Project is a global initiative that aims to improve the self-esteem and body confidence of young people. The project offers a range of resources, such as workshops, videos, articles and games, that teach young people how to challenge unrealistic beauty standards, celebrate their diversity and express their individuality.
Amaze.org: a website that provides fun and engaging videos that answer common questions
about puberty, sexuality, relationships and health. The videos are animated, humorous
and informative, covering topics such as body changes, masturbation, consent,
contraception, gender identity and more.
Scarleteen is a website that provides comprehensive and inclusive sex education for young
people. The website offers articles, podcasts, comics, forums and more, covering topics such as anatomy, pleasure, communication, boundaries, safety, sexuality, diversity
and more.
These tips and resources are just some examples of how you can talk to 11-14 year olds about online pornography, healthy relationships and body image in a constructive and respectful way. By doing so, you can help them develop critical thinking skills, emotional resilience and positive values that will benefit them throughout their lives.